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With Mayo Clinic health education outreach coordinator Angela Lunde
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April 12, 2008
The language of love
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By Angela Lunde

Earlier this week I returned from a visit to Costa Rica. While there, I had the opportunity to meet with families caring for a loved one with dementia, as well as with persons in various stages of Alzheimer's attending a day program. My experience was meaningful on so many levels.

I left reflecting that Alzheimer's disease knows no boundaries in terms of race, culture or geography, nor its impact on families. Although I struggled with the language (I do not speak Spanish), I could feel the message of pain and devastation from caregivers and other family members by looking in their eyes and sharing a hug.

When I visited the persons with Alzheimer's, not speaking their language was less of a barrier; we could understand one another through our expressions, hugs, hand holding, and even some dancing. I felt rather at home in Costa Rica especially when surrounded by persons who have Alzheimer's — clearly, the language of love is universal.

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July 26, 2008 9:28 p.m.
I lost my mom to Alzheimers the night before thanksgiving. My whole family was with her for the 3 days that we knew she was dying. After 3 days, we decided to take turns being with her. I was the first to stay with her (I was never planning on leaving her alone). It was a matter of five minutes after everyone else left that she died. I felt so lucky (and a little selfish) to have her all to myself. Before she died, I said good night Mom I will be here with you all night and I gave her a kiss and held her hand. At that very moment, I could see it in her face - she died. What a special blessing that I could be with her at that moment. I miss her terribly and wish I could just give her one more hug and kiss, but then I know I would never be able to let go. God bless all of you who care for a loved one with alzheimers. Susan
- Susan
June 30, 2008 3:23 a.m.
My mother has had Alzheimer's for over 12 years. In the last 7 months she has been living in a special care unit for people with Dementia and to be honest although the settling in period was so painful she is happy. She is truely loved there. Given jobs like serving other residents at meal times. But the greatest gift has been that the violent, angry, negletcful mother has completely gone and I now have this loving mother who literlalyy lights up when ever my father ( he's 90) or my sister and i vist.I decided , becasue Alzheimers has actually given me the mother I've always wanted I would write a book about it and that is what I am doing. There a some comments here like -Ann Martin's, that I would love to use in my book. How can I get your permission to use your beautiful posting. Thank you Angela for this line of discussion The Language of Love
- Sharon Snir
June 2, 2008 3:15 p.m.
Going through the stages with my Mother and her Alzheimer's was full of years with many ups and downs. Mom's gone now, from a fatal fall which caused a spiral fracture of her hip/leg. But those times which I hold very dear to my heart are those which came about in the middle of her disease, when her recall was of her childhood and younger days. Mom often couldn't recall what happened that day, but her past was clear as a bell. We'd sit and talk for hours - where I learaned so many things which I never knew about her. Things which today, are my deaarest treasures. Thanks, Mom, for letting me know you before I knew you!!!
- Anne Martin
April 29, 2008 11:15 a.m.
How true - the power of touch and affection on people with Alzheimer's. When my Mom is agitated, she responds well to stroking her arm, holding her hand or rocking gently back and forth while hugging her. I miss my pre-Alzheimer's Mom dearly but I've also learned to cherish every opportunity to help with her care and provide as much comfort as I can.
- Bobbi Karibian
April 23, 2008 9:07 a.m.
My memoir chronicles the 11 years that my husband and I shared his Alzheimer's. It offers inspiration and insight for maintaining "emotional memory". Bill was able to recognize our immediate family and say "I love you" until the end. It is our love story that demonstrates the power of love and resiliency to improve the quality of life. "Everything Will Be Alright: an Alzheimer's memoir" will donate profits to research.
- glory Read
April 15, 2008 12:29 p.m.
Alzheimer's and CJD http://betaamyloidcjd.blogspot.com/ Friday, March 21, 2008 Association between Deposition of Beta-Amyloid and Pathological Prion Protein in Sporadic Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease Original Paper http://betaamyloidcjd.blogspot.com/2008/03/association-between-deposition-of-beta.html TSS
- Terry S. Singeltary Sr.
April 14, 2008 6:15 p.m.
Angela, you're Wonderful Love is the most important key of all. I am going through with my Dad's Dementia (breaks my heart) I'd like to meet you someday I love the way Maya Angelou wrote this: People will forget what you said People will forget what you did But they will never forget how you made them feel...
- HumbleFaith
April 12, 2008 8:04 p.m.
Angela, You are so right about the comfort and understanding even when you cannot speak the language. I always knew what my mom was trying to communicate by her actions and body language. She was such a joy to my family. We miss her.....She passed on from a septic infection from a bed sore. That was tragic. So unnecessary. With proper training of the disease and patience.............She would have not suffered with this and taking of her life.
- miss sophie
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